Monday, February 2, 2015

happy wife, happy life

I've thought about writing this post for so long now. But recently I was in a group message and the topic came up again. So here I am, here it goes, please keep an open mind.

Years ago, the man of the house always brought home the bacon. He works all day and comes home, bacon in hand, waiting for us to fry it up. We stay home all day, waiting for the bacon, eager to fry it up. Somewhere along the way a very opinionated, independent woman decided that spit up, laundry, and frying bacon was not for her. She wanted her own career, money, and excuse to leave the kids for more than a thirty minute long doctor visit.

I think that's great. A very wise woman taught me to love my independence and work hard everyday. Work wasn't new to me once I became an "adult", because my father also thought hard work was important. But it wasn't until I became a single mom that I realized how important and empowering it was. I had freedom, I could provide, and I was doing something I had a passion for.

But that's not what this is about. A lot of women feel like they don't "need" a man. I don't need him to provide for me and the kids; I can work. I don't need him to make me happy I can do that. I don't need him for comfort I have my children. And the list goes on. "I don't need a man, I want a man."

I feel like I do NEED my husband. I need him because I'm choosing to need him. There's a sense of security in the bond between me and my husband. Not all women have that, and because of that they don't understand. I need him to love me the way that he does because in the past five years it's been one of my favorite kinds of love. I need him to make me laugh because it's my loudest laugh. I need him to listen to me vent because I can trust his ears. I need him to be with our children, in one house, raising them by my side because I didn't have that type of upbringing and my boys deserve to see their parents in a happy and healthy relationship. I need him to tag team the boys with me when I'm losing control. I need him on my journey with the Lord because I prayed for someone to rescue me and God answered my prayer in the form of a friendship turned marriage. I need him because I'm impatient, anti-social, short tempered, and sometimes lost. He changes those things about me when were together. And I need that in my life. The positive things that he brings to me everyday. The happiness that I feel when we're enjoying life together. The partner I feel like I'll always have to protect me, my children and our family as a whole.

I think you have to be secure within yourself to say you "need" someone. I think a lot of women are afraid to need their boyfriends and husbands because it takes away that independence. I know for a fact that I've laughed a deep belly laugh at my loudest volume without my husband. I also loved myself and felt love before my husband. I even had a chance to play good cop & bad cop as a single mom before my husband. All those things can still exist without him. But I don't want them to. I need him to be apart of those things, because I like it this way better. I think it's fine to NEED a man; for all the right reasons.

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