Saturday, January 3, 2015

what kind of mom of you?

What kind of mom are you? 

I've seen tons of different parenting styles from friends, family, being an enrichment teacher & the Internet. 

We all know the moms that annoy us - at the park, grocery store & school. But do we fit into more than one "mom category?" I definitely do! 

These are just a few of the moms that I've noticed - most of which I can be. 

1. The "____ is bad for you so we don't eat it" mom who regulates her child's diet down to what they eat at a birthday party. 

* I hate giving Keyy McDonald's or poptarts. But do I roll my eyes when my little brother eats it around him. No. If my mom asks me why I don't give it to Keyy that's another story!
* this mom is fine because who doesn't want to feed their kids the best foods; but if my child is eating a hot dog for the second night this week that's my choice and lecturing me only makes you look like an asshole. 

2. The "breast is best" mom. The one who pops her boob out everywhere and as much as she warns you before hand you're still shocked. 

* I bottle fed Keyy formula after two weeks of failed nursing. But I nursed Karter for six months. I encourage my friends to try because it was more beautiful than hard for me, but I don't shove my opinion down their throat. If they choose not to, bottoms up on a bottle of wine for us! 

* breast feeding is natural & an amazing experience IF ITS FOR YOU. This mom is fine as long as she can remember that what's "best" for your situation is NOT the same for everyone. Our babies are being fed; end of story. 

3. the "formula is fine" mom. She's knows all about every formula and starts out by saying I didn't nurse because I couldn't but my child is off the charts anyway. 

* This mom is trying not to throw breastfeeding moms under the bus but she does and that makes her obnoxious. 

4. The "let them be little" moms. Their child's play is chaos and she thinks it's the greatest thing ever. 

* everything has a place and there's a time and space for everything. But when I'm over my friends house and her child goes from toy to toy in this room and that room it reminds me that sometimes a little chaos is a lot of fun for them. 

* letting them be little is A LOT different than giving them no boundaries, no consequences & no structure. Children are supposed to be carefree but not in a way that any structure would be a disaster to them. 

5. The "co everything helicopter" mom. Her child does not move, play, or nap without her being right there knowing everything about anything. 

*I hover at the park, the library, pre school and everywhere else I go. But I've also learned as they get older my helicopter slowly falls back. I'm comfortable being a helicopter mom & when my friends aren't I just hover their babies too! Let them be little ! You can hover from a short distance ;)

6. The "oh no your class party was yesterday" mom. She's usually on her phone and her child is across the playground jumping off rocks barefoot. 

* seize the day! tomorrow may be too late to let them know you care. Don't beat yourself up if you can't make every holiday party  or you didn't get a picture each month they're infants! but some effort goes a long way with a child who doesn't understand meetings, overtime & business trips. 

7. The "must buy everything mom". She's always showing off her child's wardrobe; from bows to booties.

* fancy is fine for pictures and parties. Kids grow and clothes gets ruined! & Stop telling your kids what clothes cost. I had a six year old tell me her north face was $100 so it's cooler than a little girl who's jacket was from Target. It only matters once we make it an issue.

8. The "single mom advocate". Everyday is a struggle and she deserves a medal because she's doing everything alone. 

* I was a single mom & some days it was a shit show but that's the beauty in it. celebrate your independence. But don't let that be your identity. All moms struggle everyday; that's not what's important. You're doing it & your child is happy; that's important.

9. The "SAHM". She's always throwing it out there that she's home with her children 24/7 but not before reminding us that her laundry is always overflowing and dishes are never ending because she's making memories. 

* working moms are just as amazing as SAHM. I loved working and having Keyy in preschool. Just because you're able to be there 24/7 doesn't make you better. Kids enjoy any time you're with them; either all day or mornings and evenings! 

10. Mommy. The one who worries about her child and how she's doing everything in her power to love, nurture, and enjoy this journey she feels lucky to experience. 

Which one are you? 

All of these moms exist. Some are a level ten some are a level two. That's fine. What we need to remember is that we all have ONE major thing in common. Motherhood! When you get your head out of your own ass you will enjoy it. Stop taking pictures of your child for the internet & leave your opinion out of a simple conversations with other moms. It's not a competition! No one understands being a mom like another mom; that's our advantage! We can stick together instead of one uping each other. 

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